Tedious Hours

Grown tired of all the tedious
hours of my life.
And all the words which escape me
render a confusion within.
My voice is tired from all the screams
that torment my restless nights.
The body shakes, feeling cold
and yet not alone.
I never considered this possible,
all of this never was an option.
Now the issue has risen
and it leaves me wondering.
Trust in someone can set me free.
But in the end,
it'll just be me.

Back Home

Take a look at me in all my frailty.
With a shaking voice I try to speak
and say the words which express my thoughts.
When I can't seem to find the right words
I try to hide my clumsy attempt.
I just can't fail on this test,
there's too much at stake.
My insides turn to ash, so slow.
And I just seem to collapse.
So I try to regain focus and set my mind straight.
I know the path before me
but to walk it is a totally different thing.
So I take it step for step,
considering all I've done this life.
And try to find way back home
away from all the struggle and the strife....

Consolated Contradiction

Darling won't you liberate my madness.
Expose my thoughts for all that they are.
The contradictory sides of me
who consolate my hypocrite being deep inside.
For all this time I didn't say what had
lived deep within the confines of my mind.
Personality rendered useless while
my being remained ever spineless.
Socially acceptable is the name of the game.
And we all hate the outcasts
which in the end we all seem to be.
So say what's on your heart
and step into the shadows.
For we're all forsaken right here.

Inspiration Unfold

This is who I am.
Or who I could be.
This is how I want you to see me.
Or just the way I feel inside.
The endless inspiration extends
to everything I see and do.
To everyone I know.
Yes, even you.
Of love and lunacy,
anger and pain,
hate and tragedy.
Or just the cause of my misery.
It's very plain to see,
that in the end it's all just me.

Never Alone

Looking back I can see the distance
that I've crossed stretch beyond the horizon.
And along that road I could always
count on you to be right there.
It pains me that fate
split our common path.
But it seems that's the way of this world.
I'd always known I would lose you one day.
So I never took us for granted.
Yet you never left my side untill the bitter end.
And even beyond death I somehow
still feel your presence near.
Going where I stray, tirelessly and
without remorse.
You became a part of me.
Never to be forgotten.

Pardon Me

Thank you for giving me the
life I used to live.
The days spent in a warm embrace.
Lured out of the arms of sorrow.
So they ceased to torment my soul.
The times we stood in the pouring rain.
With eachother for shelter.
And the tireless nights which only
brought sincere consolation
and protection from the world outside.
So many things that remain a long
lost past.
It seems eons ago, so
pardon me if I just turn my back
and walk away.
Because I can't stand the life
I live today.

The Smile

Countless days passed since the
last time I saw her.
My mind strayed from thoughts of her.
And slowly I forgot about the girl
I never had loved.
Untill she passed across the street.
Unsure if it was her I merely
gazed at the ravishing apparition.
When crossing she seemed aware
of my presence.
A smile played across her bright red lips
as she approached.
When she bowed over me
she softly kissed the corner of my mouth.
When I unbelievingly looked up,
I uttered an incoherent question why.
With that same smile she said:
Why don't you come and find out...
And then the dream died softly in silence.