Summer Night

I remember her

gently falling asleep in her parents bed.

Just so she could be near me,

afraid of being without me.

I heard her softly breathing while I tried...

I tried to study the night through,

though failed miserably.

Her presence filled the room,

fills my thoughts all these years later.

I always pretended to live a life without regrets,

and yet I know it to be a blatant lie.

All the things I told myself to cope 

with the consequences of my own choices.

How hard I tried to deceive myself,

it was never enough to diminish my feelings.

Fearful

I'll stay here,

waiting for a way out of this mess.

And I find this hard to confess,

that every time we meet,

you still swipe me off my feet.

And I saw this coming,

couldn't be running away from this.

These feelings I have still

fill me top to bottom. 

So it has been ten years,

since that time full of fears.

Where I trembled for your loss,

yet it was all my fault.

And I feel guilty.