Horrors Of Self

I'm being followed by horrors in my mind.
Looking for every possible sign and every wrong vibe.
Afraid to find these little signs to be true.
I couldn't cope with losing you.
The sheer thought makes me shiver.
That one like me could end up alone again.
There's something in me which clings on to hope.
Tells me that it's all in my mind.
And on the other side I still fear for the worst.
Which would shield me from the fall.
I'd love to take the doubt away by
hearing it in your honest words.
Which take me from my demons
and send me back to earth.

Anxiety

Sometimes I wonder why I always hide.
Hide away from the fears I have,
while I sold my soul to get here.
Digging myself in way too deep,
keeping myself shut out from the simple truths.
Life's just a thin line between the pleasure and the pain.
And I'm afraid to handle it the wrong way.
While I'm blessed with all I have,
and happy with who I became.
I feel like I'm doing the right thing
but I rarely think of anyone but me.
As I see my dreams turned into dust,
I sit and stare and can't help but wonder.
Are you still there?

Voidwalker

Empty thoughts in a starless existence.
Left in darkness to wander for an eternity.
Unable to forgive the past mistakes.
Aimlessly walking through this infinite void
with nothing to guide him.
Loneliness has left this stray soul ages ago.
As it has no use for such petty emotions.
Careless he continues his way home.
Not knowing where to go but straight forward.
He vaguely remembers he used to be somebody,
that he was part of something special.
He remembers emotions.
Hate, love, pain and joy.
Somewhere he lost it all,
the same time he lost his way into the void.

Mere Words

Thunderstruck in a clear sky.
Out of the blue worlds collapse and
leave us shattered and beaten.
Not a word uttered with
malicious intent.
And yet you've been hurt
by mere words.
Tears flow and fall as gravity
pulls them down.
Down to the ground where
I lay, fallen in despair.
Desperation in fear of losing you.
Losing the only world that I used to know.
Mere words can make you fly,
make you happy and take you high.
Mere words can make you fall,
and leave you to die.

Without A Thought

Aimlessly I walk the path home.
Left feeling hollow by the things inside of me.
Thoughts running scared inside my scarred head.
Trying to persuade myself that all is fine.
Embracing the maddening sounds of
the sanatorium within my soul.
I'm one with the pain,
one with the intense missing feeling.
Ever since I left her at the station,
my heart still longs for her.
Even the brightest dawn seems darkened for evermore.
I'm left with feelings I can't ignore.

Derail

Dusk takes over the dying day.
I hesitate...
Should I move on and leave you behind here?
The train awaits all who are boarding,
and I know I don't want to go.
This feeling of goodbye seems so final.
Like saying farewell to the dying.
I feel lonely, walking to the train.
And yet she's right there beside me.
The sunset over the sea fills my heart
with regret.
Wishing I could stay just another day.
I take a long look at her and savour
the sweetest embrace.
And for just a moment
I completely believed.
I felt she was the one.
And the next moment it's all gone...

Napkin Reprise

Unintentionaly I find myself again in this place.
Years have passed since I've been there.
The feelings have faded into the dead
memories in the back of my heart.
And yet it somehow feels like yesterday.
The days you were still there to call my own.
Where the torment of these sounds
were muted by your sweet presence.
How you preserved my sanity in a place
I could not grasp.
And somehow it still feels so good
to see you again.
Still saving me without a word.