Sweetest Lies

The sweetest dreams are filled with lies.
Make believe that the impossible is real.
As long as I'm sleeping I know what I see and feel.
Unable to recall anything recent, my mind makes
connections to a distant past.
I see her and regrets still linger in my subconsciousness.
So I dream that everything I know vanishes,
and leaves me victim to my own imagination.
And so I dream of her and a perfect world.
A world where my regrets never stood a chance.
Where everything I used to hope for became reality.
And so I enjoy the brief moment where these lies
comfort my sorry soul.
Only to be awoken in to the world we all share.
Where regret is something I live with every day.

Bereaved Sadness

Awakened by the heavy rain falling on my roof,
Cold and shaking in the damp morning.
Trying to escape the weight of darkness,
but the shades don't fade.
You bereaved me of my sadness only to give it back.
I turn down my eyes, unable to look at you.
The things I've seen set in motion
this downwards emotional spiral.
I never thought it possible
but my bleeding heart is a constant reminder.
Reminded of the pain of loss,
I sit and waste away in the corner.
Deprived of the light that soon will shine,
I carry on on borrowed time.
But on the inside I wither in darkness.

Self-Doubt

What could be the cause of the delay
of my succes in life?
I seem constantly moving forward
and yet I never amount to anything but failure.
I keep trying and strife for the best.
Until my insights stop me dead in my tracks.
It never was anybody's fault but my own.
The self-doubt was my demon who kept me back.
The uncertainty of my actions reflected
in the results of my attempts.
And all that I tried was doomed to begin with.
If I see past my own delusions
and persist in my endeavors,
I'll see and reach my goals.
No matter which obstructions come my way.

Bloodstained Path

The bloodstains from my beaten heart
still leave a trail along my path.
A constant burden to remind me of my past mistakes.
Weighing heavy on my shoulders.
Yet I persevere and carry on.
Feelings tearing on me from the inside out.
You promised me your world
and as I stare at these ruins
I can only but wonder what could have been.
These scars will never fade,
they keep me in check.
Very aware of the traps that surround me.
Still, every time I speak your name,
I feel my wounds open up and bleed with pain.
And as I embrace the grief and sorrow,
I know I'll see a better tomorrow.

From The Gut

I'm trying to look you in the eyes
and fill the void inside of me.
And as I get a glimpse and stare into your soul,
it seems this void can not be filled.
My expectations always were high and
I never imagined you would let me down.
But sometimes I feel this all just can't be real.
And then I feel this way.
I can taste the ash in my mouth
And the burning feeling within made way
for an emptiness unknown.

Inner Prison

Come and teach me the perfect balance.
How to achieve the life I need to survive.
Learn to see all the things around me,
to hear through all the noise and
listen to the things that matter.
If I could know how to see within myself,
I could rid myself from my nuisances.
But how could I learn when there's
nobody around to teach me.
When everyone is too preoccupied with themselves.
And nobody's released from their inner prison.
How can we ever lead a better life
when there's always someone around
to drag us down.

Wasting Away

I don't want to be here,
don't feel like doing anything at all.
I just want to waste my time
anywhere but here.
To lay somewhere not doing a thing
safely in the shades shielded from the sun.
I remember a time where that life
was still possible.
Where once my days were peaceful and trite.
But back then it all felt so right.
That life's gone forever and has made
way for the prosperous one I lead now.
Where I run from one thing to the next
without ever catching my breath.
How much longer until I run into
a wall with my head in first?
I just want some time for myself.