Shadow Of My Mind

It's raining hard in the darkened night.
I hear it coming down so hard,
and I'm as lonely as I have ever been.
My mind wanders on her,
where she could be.
I can't help but think of her.
She's with me every step of my way.
Like a shadow of my mind,
she never leaves my thoughts.
I treasure the image of her,
her sweet words linger in my head.
But she's not here,
and I can not tell exactly what she feels.
So I fill my dreams with wishes,
and sleep the nights away.

Scared

It tears at my heart

these insecurities gnaw away at me.
How can I deal with all this pressure,
pushing from the inside outward?
I want to be a reason,
a reason not to run away.
Wish I could become
the person which makes her stay.
But how can I be so selfish,
who am I to hold her back?
I lose my sleep,
don’t care to eat.
I just want to be there,
and hold her.
Hear her say, it’ll be alright.

Faith In Me

Found myself imprisoned in my mind.
Held onto the thought of a better life.
Until the day I met her.
She gently released me from my hell.
So I took my heart and made it hers.
Everytime I’d hear from her
my heart skipped a beat.
I don’t think I could bear to be ever away from her.
How can I tell her what’s on my mind,
when it’s faith in me she needs?
I can only hope to offer her
a closer look into my view.

Astray

Here I stand.

On my own again,

astray in the sunshine.

Heart beating hollow,

guts feeling gently twisted.

As if I see her the first time

after a thousand times.

The strange emotion won’t let me go.

As if she still is my whole world,

and I have lost the notion of time.

She’s still so beautiful.

It fills me up,

she’s in my veins.

Trying to keep myself in check,

but I find this hard to do.

When the thoughts in my mind

scream out to only you.

Weight Of Loneliness

I'm still sick of it all.

No matter how much I make believe

I'm always taking the fall.

Trying to stand tall,

but life's not keen on bringing relief.

So I dwell on old songs,

helping me to grasp the essence of my past.

All the hate and anger is still there,

unchanged and hidden inside.

But it all fades compared

to the pressure on my chest.

The weight of loneliness

is a heavy burden to bear.

As I see everyone I've ever loved

move away from here.

Memory Lane

Legion are the roads that lead
through the soft sloping hills.
The sun guides a path through a forest.
But these roads hides no secrets anymore,
as I tread them like before.
After 3600 days since I first discovered my way.
It still takes me back,
down on this memory lane.
I see all seasons pass before me.
Tears spring into my eyes at the sight of it.
That one house in a dead end street,
used to be a haven for me to rest me soul.
It has been so long since I set foot inside.
Have I been lost ever since,
just trying to fill that endless gap?
I keep wondering as I continue my way,
looking for that same kind of solace.

History

Heavy thoughts caress my brain.
I recall the first meeting.
On a sunny day, waiting on a bench.
No clue of what to expect,
nor the consequences for the future.
There she was, and I wasn't ready.
I was loquaciously nervous,
couldn't seem to shut up.
While she just seemed to listen,
taking it all in.
It was weird to see the time fly.
Hours passed in a heartbeat,
I wished my heart would've just stopped.
The rest of this story is history.
To be forgotten by the ages.