Sweetest Lies

The sweetest dreams are filled with lies.
Make believe that the impossible is real.
As long as I'm sleeping I know what I see and feel.
Unable to recall anything recent, my mind makes
connections to a distant past.
I see her and regrets still linger in my subconsciousness.
So I dream that everything I know vanishes,
and leaves me victim to my own imagination.
And so I dream of her and a perfect world.
A world where my regrets never stood a chance.
Where everything I used to hope for became reality.
And so I enjoy the brief moment where these lies
comfort my sorry soul.
Only to be awoken in to the world we all share.
Where regret is something I live with every day.

Horrors Of Self

I'm being followed by horrors in my mind.
Looking for every possible sign and every wrong vibe.
Afraid to find these little signs to be true.
I couldn't cope with losing you.
The sheer thought makes me shiver.
That one like me could end up alone again.
There's something in me which clings on to hope.
Tells me that it's all in my mind.
And on the other side I still fear for the worst.
Which would shield me from the fall.
I'd love to take the doubt away by
hearing it in your honest words.
Which take me from my demons
and send me back to earth.

Voidwalker

Empty thoughts in a starless existence.
Left in darkness to wander for an eternity.
Unable to forgive the past mistakes.
Aimlessly walking through this infinite void
with nothing to guide him.
Loneliness has left this stray soul ages ago.
As it has no use for such petty emotions.
Careless he continues his way home.
Not knowing where to go but straight forward.
He vaguely remembers he used to be somebody,
that he was part of something special.
He remembers emotions.
Hate, love, pain and joy.
Somewhere he lost it all,
the same time he lost his way into the void.

Mere Words

Thunderstruck in a clear sky.
Out of the blue worlds collapse and
leave us shattered and beaten.
Not a word uttered with
malicious intent.
And yet you've been hurt
by mere words.
Tears flow and fall as gravity
pulls them down.
Down to the ground where
I lay, fallen in despair.
Desperation in fear of losing you.
Losing the only world that I used to know.
Mere words can make you fly,
make you happy and take you high.
Mere words can make you fall,
and leave you to die.

Without A Thought

Aimlessly I walk the path home.
Left feeling hollow by the things inside of me.
Thoughts running scared inside my scarred head.
Trying to persuade myself that all is fine.
Embracing the maddening sounds of
the sanatorium within my soul.
I'm one with the pain,
one with the intense missing feeling.
Ever since I left her at the station,
my heart still longs for her.
Even the brightest dawn seems darkened for evermore.
I'm left with feelings I can't ignore.

Derail

Dusk takes over the dying day.
I hesitate...
Should I move on and leave you behind here?
The train awaits all who are boarding,
and I know I don't want to go.
This feeling of goodbye seems so final.
Like saying farewell to the dying.
I feel lonely, walking to the train.
And yet she's right there beside me.
The sunset over the sea fills my heart
with regret.
Wishing I could stay just another day.
I take a long look at her and savour
the sweetest embrace.
And for just a moment
I completely believed.
I felt she was the one.
And the next moment it's all gone...

Napkin Reprise

Unintentionaly I find myself again in this place.
Years have passed since I've been there.
The feelings have faded into the dead
memories in the back of my heart.
And yet it somehow feels like yesterday.
The days you were still there to call my own.
Where the torment of these sounds
were muted by your sweet presence.
How you preserved my sanity in a place
I could not grasp.
And somehow it still feels so good
to see you again.
Still saving me without a word.

Clouded Mountain

I still feel your last kiss on my lips.
And your words still linger on.
As I hear the wind howl and bring
the clouds near.
I see the mountain vanish into a mist
as if it was never there.
Yet I feel that you're there,
somewhere waiting for me
the way I want you too.
As the time draws near my sorrows disappear.
My shadow vanishes in the approaching light.
How I long for your sweet presence, filling me up...
I sit and stare as the time leads me closer to your love.
The only reason for my existence.

Different Roads

It wasn't always so.
This story has been told before.
As we walk all alone
in silence, dark and cold.
Lost notion of what once mattered.
Failed to apprehend the reason of what went wrong.
As we walked two different roads,
alone.
Now that they crossed it all feels wrong.
Certainties fall which I used to linger on.
As the heart plays its tricks,
the mind dwells off to a place thought lost.
What was once considered bliss
cast out in forgetfulness.
And the way I now feel
is but a shadow of a distant memory.

Ode to a fallen friend

Tired and worn out, the drive lingers on.
Roads washed away under the wheels.
A waterdust thrown up blurs the past
as the road goes on.
Stars shine eternally down on us.
cold and indifferent to all.
Familiar scenes take back past memories.
Particular scents bring back summers long gone.
Looking up at the sky we once shared.
It's late and I'm lingering on to consciousness.
The stars shine bright in the most
beautiful night.
I don't want to go to sleep.
While you already rest in an eternal slumber
behind those empty walls.

Dedicated to Herbrand De Vos

Block

Inspiration fade along with darkness
in my head.
Leaving silence



Peace



Blank lines in my script



Inner salvation

Sugar

All traces of sadness and desperation
have been silenced forever more.
Equilibrium in my being has finally
been attained.
No loneliness or fear dwell on my
once tortured soul.
Passed all personal lows and hurt.
My heart stands firm as the stone surface
steadily cracked and reveals
the pounding muscle.
Nothing can tear me down.
This one true certainty keeps me whole.
That one smile justifies my existence.
One heart still beats for me.
One glance shows me truth through world's lies.
That one love means life to me.

Covetous

So eager over you.
Ever scared, philosophical of what we
have.
A friendship so delicate, conceptive of our
fears and disillusions.
Searched so long for some shelter
untill we found it together.
Time and people came between us when
the notion of failure and loss held us back.
Heartbeats measured time as blood
passed through my veins.
How to cope with a feeling never told.
As I lay down my head and wonder off
to a place unknown.
A time and a dimension apart with
only hope and courage.
Where my words wouldn't fall of deafened ears.

Seamless state

Trapped in the wake of a dream.
Unable to see and feel the existence of light.
Questions raised as answers fall from up high.
No point in searching for significance
as everything feels wrong.
Images flash before my mind
and slow my train of thought.
I long for meaning and demand cohesion
as love falls down like rain outside.
A slumbering coma tells me lies of
places I once longed for,
people long gone.
Slowly the soil erupts and cracks as
light seeps through.
Released from the mental prison into
a state of consciousness.
Fully aware of truth and illusion.

Winding road

Desolate ways to forest roads down
to her so far away.
In the depths of night following the winding road.
History of emotions.
A heart full of love, joy and life.
A heart full of sadness, sorrow and despair.
A heart full of grief, pain and regrets.
But always a heart filled
with her.
Years later, a trip down into the past.
Welcomed by all I've left behind.
The empty road as my only friend.

Withered soul

Plagued by visions of times long passed.
Able to hear those hollow words once more.
Feeling empty, meaningless and absurd.
Why does feeling feel like an darkened abyss...
Lost in ancient thougths unable to release.
Unable to let loose of the visions replaying
in my soul.
You are ever there, cause of my withered soul.
Numbed beyond sight, reaching in the blur.
Trying to catch the star that shone.
Nothing but darkness,
like all stars fell from heaven.
Something gently rustles the leaves in the
colourful autumn night.
Leaves as withered as this tired soul.

Sleepless soul

Cold serenity as the snowflakes twirl down
from the ever dormant sky.
Distant notes carried forth by an
atmosphere at peace.
A sleepless soul calms down and stares...
Perfect crystals tumble from the heavens
Soothing the burning anxiety.
Sweet lullabies create a sleep full of
winged emotions.
As they gently fade they leave this soul
forever trapped
in the slumbering embrace.

High & dry

Alone I walk the mountainroad.
with my head in the clouds
so far apart from the one I need.
The summit seems unreal
Leaving me high and dry.
Clueless about distance without
any certainties.
The damp dabs my being.
Lost inside the mist where
the roads cease to exist.
My heart burns and pounds.
So I move on,
ignoring my chilled bones
and lone feelings.
Replacing them with something more.
And hope breaks through the fog.

Keep me whole

Back in the beginning I never
really knew just what to expect.
So much anxiety of being in love
once more.
Afraid to open up and put my
trust in you.
Terrified of ever being hurt again
and end up in solitude.
Will you ever create despair?
Will you ever give me grief?
Those were my thoughts 'till I
just let loose.
Banned my painful past and
accepted my present love.
Finding you here makes me feel,
brings me warmth & solace.
You know my soul
and hope you never let go.

White Noise

Silence swerves in this place
searching for the dying sounds...
All seems ever so eternally still
amidst this ever revolving world.
Leaves are mute as the wind stops sighing.
Even the twinkling stars enjoy this peaceful
moment in the cold autumn night.
I'm just inhaling it all in a state of inner peace.
One with the silence
Empty of grief and despair.
This white noise surrounds my soul.
It takes me far away. Right there
where I would like
to be.