Sometimes I sit and wonder
about mistakes I've made.
Words which I said,
things I left unsaid.
Ask myself if I will find myself
alone evermore.
This thought seems to gain
credibility as each day passes me by.
How can I live with these thoughts?
How do I manage to drag myself through this life?
The truth be told,
I can't say myself.
I just drag my weary mind
along this empty road of my life.
24.10.12
17.10.12
Forlorn
One can not fathom the emptiness I feel now.
The endless days pass by without meaning.
I smile and laugh and cry inside.
All the while I try to hide.
Sometimes I'm so scared to find
that I'll end up alone until
I become bitter and blind.
Blind to the beauty and purity in this life,
which would still surround me.
I still keep up hope even though
it often leads to despair.
How I long for love and a sweet embrace,
soft as the feathers touch.
If I could only rest my head and know
that I'm not alone on this world.
The endless days pass by without meaning.
I smile and laugh and cry inside.
All the while I try to hide.
Sometimes I'm so scared to find
that I'll end up alone until
I become bitter and blind.
Blind to the beauty and purity in this life,
which would still surround me.
I still keep up hope even though
it often leads to despair.
How I long for love and a sweet embrace,
soft as the feathers touch.
If I could only rest my head and know
that I'm not alone on this world.
16.10.12
Blinded
Sometimes I wonder what you are thinking about.
If your mind could actually work like mine.
Or if your heart is as heavy as I suspect.
I think about how things could be,
but I'm afraid you won't let yourself feel.
I don't blame you for what you did,
grudges never work either way.
So don't put up walls that I can not break down.
Or perhaps you just don't want me to.
Do I fail to see
or am I just too blind.
Blinded by the possibility?
If only I could dig myself a little hole
inside your precious heart.
If your mind could actually work like mine.
Or if your heart is as heavy as I suspect.
I think about how things could be,
but I'm afraid you won't let yourself feel.
I don't blame you for what you did,
grudges never work either way.
So don't put up walls that I can not break down.
Or perhaps you just don't want me to.
Do I fail to see
or am I just too blind.
Blinded by the possibility?
If only I could dig myself a little hole
inside your precious heart.
Into The Fray
Once more into the fray,
this battle in my head might be the end if me.
Safe as I had felt the days before,
so afraid I am left alone.
The silence is what kills me,
my mind runs loose and forebodes things
I do not want to know.
How can all of this change so sudden?
I feel like I'm young again,
overwhelmed by a fear I don't even know.
Yet I know it to be true,
it's always been like this.
Like I have a sixth sense for oncoming pain.
As she tells me the words
about some other guy,
I just wish her good luck.
While inside I cry.
this battle in my head might be the end if me.
Safe as I had felt the days before,
so afraid I am left alone.
The silence is what kills me,
my mind runs loose and forebodes things
I do not want to know.
How can all of this change so sudden?
I feel like I'm young again,
overwhelmed by a fear I don't even know.
Yet I know it to be true,
it's always been like this.
Like I have a sixth sense for oncoming pain.
As she tells me the words
about some other guy,
I just wish her good luck.
While inside I cry.
11.10.12
Breathless
It felt like a dream which I could not grasp,
a dream I wish I'd never awake from.
The wind feels like a soft breath,
as if she was watching over me.
It eased my heavy head,
took my mind and set it free.
I was so tired of thinking all the time.
Too tired of always searching
for anything that could come across wrong.
It tears at the fabric of my mind.
If only we found consolation and understanding.
Then I would not stand every day alone.
There's a thousand songs to sing,
a million words to say.
But I can't utter a sound at the mere sight of her.
She takes away my breath,
and leaves me with a smile.
a dream I wish I'd never awake from.
The wind feels like a soft breath,
as if she was watching over me.
It eased my heavy head,
took my mind and set it free.
I was so tired of thinking all the time.
Too tired of always searching
for anything that could come across wrong.
It tears at the fabric of my mind.
If only we found consolation and understanding.
Then I would not stand every day alone.
There's a thousand songs to sing,
a million words to say.
But I can't utter a sound at the mere sight of her.
She takes away my breath,
and leaves me with a smile.
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