Silent admirer

I've known you for quite some time.
Trying to comprehend just who you are...
Puzzling the pieces, finding the links
but so many questions arise.
Feeling intrigued by what you unveiled,
my admiration starts to prevail.
Deep down inside a seed was planted,
slowly growing as time passed us by.
Now the light is spreading in me,
thriving the bitter darkness away.
Purified by your being I sit and bide my time.
Untill the time's right
to step up and show you my face.

Mystic

Mystic emotions unleashed
like a waterfall
of tears inside of me.
Running down this being
overflowing with hurt,
in pain due to insecurity.
Questions raised
left unsolved.
A world of agony
unveiled just for me.

Insecure

Alone with the clouds and the rain,
seated at the windowpane.
My mind's far away, seperated from this
flesh. The cold skin sending loneliness to my
mind. It's been so long since we last kissed.
Questions overwhelm me but this cold feeling
remains, making me insecure.
Why won't you tell me anymore how you
feel? Has the love fled from your heart?
The stars remind me of you. They look so small
and far away, but that one tiny little star
means the world to me.
A world of memories, the same world which
keeps me going. A place to feel at ease, to rest and
feel loved.
May that star shine bright forever so my
love would not be in vain.

Failure

What would become of me if I should fall from the angels’ grace?
If I fail in my attempts to live this life, trying to succeed
in my enterprises. How would this affect my state today?
Would the people around me abandon me? Stop loving me
because I fail at what I try?
Because I have to get around with the knowledge and degree
that I have, forced to live of the many jobs which I have
to accept. Looking for better chances with the knowledge that
I’ve could have been so much more if I was only brighter.
I can’t help myself, I try so hard and yet it makes no
difference. Will you still love me when I fail? If I
would be working while I should be in the next year gathering
the knowledge for a better future. Would you care and
put me aside? I have these dreams where my fears
become real, showing me how it’s all going to be like.
How you leave me, standing there alone looking at
how you turn your back and leave me.
Then I awake and feel like crying, I don’t want it all
to come to this. If I were only smarter…

With my mind

I can take my mind away and I can free my thoughts today.
I wish I took my pain away from my mind, my tortured mind.
I fear what's created by my thoughts, the things that float in my head. Enforced by what others judge it slips to dark places where question's are raised. Questions yet unanswered, yet unasked.
And I wish I could find the truth, this truth underneath. Hoping to be released from the cage of doubt where my mind's locked.
Take my mind away, just let me pray for 2day.
2morrow brings the same doubt with old questions renewed.
And you can take my mind away, fill the void and stay with me.
All I ask is far away and seems like drifting on its way.
Leading me to tragedy with no cure left inside of me.
Please tell me the truth, what you feel, all your thoughts. Unleash this tension and free yourself...

Spontaneous

I feel so alive, floating in this room like gravity's
an illusion. Spontaneous, letting my thoughts go
while trying to make you feel.
Making you realize how special you're to me.
Wanting to make you happy, with these little things. Giving
to you while receiving from you.
You've given me so much and I'm trying to repay these
feelings that you filled me with.
I've loved you for so long but it still seems like yesterday
when we first met.
Time's so unexisting and soft. Overflowing like
a satin sheet, passing us by while leaving behind
these immortal memories.
I wish I could express how I feel. Feel about this all, about
this love that comes to me.
All I can offer you now are these roses. As soft and
sweet as you are.

Paranoia

Why am I so worried these weeks? Scared
of the one thing that I fear most.
Can't lose you. The very thought makes me cry.
Cut my skin when I feel insecure, watch the
flesh heal 'till the scars appear.
Something's changed in you. Like you're holding back on
me, it makes me doubt on myself. I remember
when nothing mattered, that your love overwhelmed me.
When I could drown in the sweet words you sent me.
Time seems to have changed, deformed into something I
don't recognize anymore.
Will I ever feel your body next to me again, while sleeping
or hugging...
When I need to miss you, my mind plays tricks on me. No
wonder that I don't feel right. Start maiming myself in the
head and skin. I don't wanna feel lonely, just want
some love and certainty in this life of mine.
This selfish life which doesn't deserve your love.
People around me get hurt and I don't want to rejoin
them. Shake off this paranoia and return back to my
senses. I wanna renew my vow. Renew
my unconditional love.