City night

Sitting in a car surrounded
by the old city.
Never asleep with the orange
lights all over the streets.
Solitude in a city full of strangers.
Living lives next to one
another. Loneliness and indifference.
Cold and heartless world
where words don't mean
a thing.
Everyone turns cold as the night moves on.
False emotions shadow the
stars leaving a trace of
false hope.

Unspoken words

Don't you know?
Didn't you ever realized?
Things never turn out the way
you'd like them to.
Forget perfection and focus on who
you are. Realize that you're
miserable. Open your eyes and
see that you're owned by the
things you own.
Do you even know?
Can you feel that shadow
standing behind you?
Watching over you from the
corner of the room.
Can you taste
the unspoken words that flow
through the air?
Don't you realize how you feel?

Solutions

Finding truth in this.
Meeting myself in ugliness.
Trying to achieve happiness through
acts of despair.
Finding truth in my goals
but lacking the means to achieve.
Your signs made me believe in you.
Kept my hopes alive through hours
of darkness.
I followed your light, slowly clamping
onto my beliefs.
When I thought I could reach out.
To show what had lived in me.
I find myself in front of a wall,
with no ray of light cracking
through.

Dreams of hope

Dreams of the past.
Nightmares of the present.
Lying asleep in the vasteness of the night.
Half conscious of my existence while my
soul roams unknown plains.
Not knowing whether the dream
is real or the reality false.
Don't know for sure if I'm still alive...
Empty thoughts are my only certainty
for all knowledge is so vague.
As I awake in hollow pain, I realise.
Found out it's worse than the nightmares
and the dreams seem unattainable.
Finding myself stuck in my own mind.
Unable of letting go.
The impossibility of feelings.

Neglect

sick of this all
too weak to continue
too numb to feel
too tired to resist

i'm so sick of this all
so sick of me

Feeling neglected by the only person i really care for...
ignoring myself

so sick of myself
so sick of this

won't anybody take this life
use it for whatever
for it is of no use to me anymore

laid waste to my soul
killed my own
arose from nothing
fallen from grace
returned to nothing

so sick of my life

Fall from grace

Words cycle around me, carrying questions unanswered.
Have you given up on all you loved...
Surpassed the things that gnawed on you.
Walking your path where ever it might lead.
Is this my fall from grace?
Should I lose all my hope. I keep wondering...
Where will I end up? And who will be there
in the end?
Can't figure this out. I'm sure of nothing, even
though I thought I was.
Is this a test? It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.
Will there be solace or sorrow?
light or shadow
you or just me...

Cure my tragedy

I know so many words, attained so many
pictures framed in my mind.
Processing it all inside yet I can't seem to
heal inside.
Still acheing as I watch over my lonely life.
Standing alone with this tragedy. Doubts and questions
took the stage in an neverending act.
Won't you cure my tragedy? As you once did...
It seems that you are my faith. The thing I had
been looking for for all this lost time.
Been led astray and deceived while I was
too blind to see.
I've learned to sense what is real, neglecting the
images that were thrown at me.
Found what I knew was right. Refound the person
that became true.
To my deepest grief she seems to be untouchable.
Afraid to tell her how I feel and that
she's on my mind every day.
Take and break me, bring me down and beat
me. For I should never have left her.