So Called

Why should I let you get through to me?
You think you're all that, seen it all, heard it all,
you lived it all before.
Try to make me believe you pity me.
While all I see is a mere boy
surrounded by stupidity.
Believing you have it all figured out,
but you just can't understand.
That all you have and do
will some day come to an end.
So spare me your so called wisdom.
You should start to see,
that you're carrying on on borrowed time.
And you're not better than me.

Silent Question

My reflection in the black water

reaches for the surface.

Trapped in the depths, lacking the knowledge

to escape this liquid prison.

Emptiness lures from beneath,

attempting to look so very inviting.

My soul knows how it feels,

how there is nothing left down there to procure.

The barren ruins of the past offer no more solace.

Buried deep down in the distant faded past,

memories lost their colours.

Ever stuck beneath the surface

my soul reaches out to the black night sky.

With a silent question: Why?

Troubled View

I'm a million miles from home,
I'm walking away.
I'm frozen to the bone.
I can't help but see the tears in my eyes.
My troubled view stops me.
I think of her,
and all that we had.
The bittersweet memories,
they never fade away.
The thought of her and another man,
still drives me insane.
Somehow I can't remember her eyes,
her face...

The Dream

I see you drifting away.
Away in to a soft slumber.
Away in to the sweetest dreams.
You are all I long for.
The one I could never even try to forget.
I just lie there next to you.
See your breathing gently.
I just keep looking at you as you lie there so peacefully.
It feels like so many years ago.
As if everything's back alright.
And yet I hesitate.
I softly kiss your lips and lay my head down to rest.
Just as my head touches the pillow and my eyes are closed.
I feel you,
kissing me as if you would never want to lose me again.

Rain

Thunder rumbled as the rain descended
upon our shivering bodies.
As we tried to shelter under one raincoat,
we stood still amongst the crowd.
Holding tight as the music reached out
through the heavy rain.
It felt like we were alone on this world,
and the summer seemed more like fall.
Some things come back, even after all these years.
Buried deep inside, hidden carefully
in the corner of my heart.
The music still sounds the same
taking me back to a place drenched in rain.
Where misery was covered up with love,
and how the rain washed
away my tears while hiding them completely.
As it still does these days.

Haunting Eyes

I wonder if she'd care to know.
What would she tell me if I'd tell her everything?
I dreamt about her sad hopeful eyes,
of realities beyond anyone's grasp.
Those haunting eyes follow my every step
from the confines of my mind.
Am I slowly losing it?
And still I'm wondering if she would care.
Would she give a penny for my thoughts,
or shy away at the image of the surface?
Once I thought I had everything under control.
But what if I have not?
These feelings are still so very strong,
as if time didn't fade them at all.
I dreamt about her happy loving eyes
and the smile that I miss.
Why do I live in a world like this?

In My Room

Everything seems so very chaotic,
no natural order except for the disorder.
A safe full of carefully bottled memories.
So many even that the room seems alive.
Any time of day and night you could find
me there, well protected in my corner of the world.
For over more than fifteen years I've lived
my life at home in my room.
It's been more than just a refuge.
Gradually molded in to the space it is today.
I remember my first kiss, bitter tears
and the sweetest love.
Countless hours spent in my room,
and they never felt in vain.
I can't help but feel so much pain,
knowing I'll be going soon.
Only to start over and try to feel at
home, as I did in my room.