Confusing days with strange pleasant emotions. Cover
me up with dust before I confess my thoughts.
What is up with all of this? I like her so much and
yet I don't know why.
Is this love or just a thing to be? Holding back what
I think, hiding my doubt untill I'm sure.
Is this what I want or do I continue like a freak in
pain? Suffering with bad feelings and misery in my
trail. Is this all just some game?
Where the winner takes the blame while the loser points
and screams. Playing around with my feelings just
to strike and break what is left.
Or is it indeed what I hope it is. Finally true love,
honest and sincere. Which crawls under ones skin
just to empoison the whole body.
Help me out, help me get in. Will someone help...
1.1.02
Queasy
Kill the noises around me. Got no one to which I can
confide what is wrong with me.
I can't concede any of the wild guesses and suspicions made
to my adress. I can't liberate the deepest hurt I'm
experiencing. Trying to introduce the shit inside me would
be useless as nobody would understand.
Incurring myself by muting my mouth while the
thaughts run free.
A rare feeling of emptyness fills me. Nostalgic images
of who I used to love. Seeing facets of their relations which
never had been given to me. My lips are dry while I
procure the things that I never had obtained.
Once I ran to them now I crawl away while I notice
I'm queasy.
I slump into a dried up wasteland, smacked down
while hearing my bones snap with amazing ease.
Lie there bleeding in that empty place where i can't
be set free.
confide what is wrong with me.
I can't concede any of the wild guesses and suspicions made
to my adress. I can't liberate the deepest hurt I'm
experiencing. Trying to introduce the shit inside me would
be useless as nobody would understand.
Incurring myself by muting my mouth while the
thaughts run free.
A rare feeling of emptyness fills me. Nostalgic images
of who I used to love. Seeing facets of their relations which
never had been given to me. My lips are dry while I
procure the things that I never had obtained.
Once I ran to them now I crawl away while I notice
I'm queasy.
I slump into a dried up wasteland, smacked down
while hearing my bones snap with amazing ease.
Lie there bleeding in that empty place where i can't
be set free.
Pretty people
Enter the revolting room...
Everywhere around us we're flooded by pictures of pretty people.
Making me feel bad about myself, the confrontation with the frustration
which is my body. Creating the perfect image for us all,
indoctrinating our views. Taught to be as "cool" as you can be.
Feeling like a fucking freak kicked and overrun by the masses
which hate me. Nothing gets easier.
I accept this ugly shell which hides my real being. The
surface is so cold and worthless but still
the roots are deep.
Stare all the image of beauty telling myself to fuck off.
Telling the world to leave me alone as I found out I'm too
late once more. Not keeping up appearances and
feeling part of realistic,"real", people. Abandon fake aesthetic
disguises to accept myself for what I am.
An ugly "fucked up" freak like I have always been.
Everywhere around us we're flooded by pictures of pretty people.
Making me feel bad about myself, the confrontation with the frustration
which is my body. Creating the perfect image for us all,
indoctrinating our views. Taught to be as "cool" as you can be.
Feeling like a fucking freak kicked and overrun by the masses
which hate me. Nothing gets easier.
I accept this ugly shell which hides my real being. The
surface is so cold and worthless but still
the roots are deep.
Stare all the image of beauty telling myself to fuck off.
Telling the world to leave me alone as I found out I'm too
late once more. Not keeping up appearances and
feeling part of realistic,"real", people. Abandon fake aesthetic
disguises to accept myself for what I am.
An ugly "fucked up" freak like I have always been.
Ripped
See myself fading in the unreal realm of tomorrow.
Erasing the fingerprints as I have never existed.
I'm grabbing around me trying to hold on what's left of
my past.
Muting the sounds around me, the silence is what drives me
away from what's left of my sanity.
The blood runs from my veins into the evening, Breathe in, Bleed
out.
Take away my life as you already
took my love,
took my hope and
took my feelings.
Creep up beside my rotting past try to escape from this life
which is left in me.
Erasing the fingerprints as I have never existed.
I'm grabbing around me trying to hold on what's left of
my past.
Muting the sounds around me, the silence is what drives me
away from what's left of my sanity.
The blood runs from my veins into the evening, Breathe in, Bleed
out.
Take away my life as you already
took my love,
took my hope and
took my feelings.
Creep up beside my rotting past try to escape from this life
which is left in me.
Woes
Sadness kicks my mind, suddenly as always. Want to be
released from all sorrows, freed from the mangling hurt
which terrorizes my soul.
Look in my eyes, see them beg to come bleed with me, come
suffocate with me.
Suffering cuz of the ignorance about you. Wondering how and
where you're wandering. Contemplating future scenarios for
your life, can't find an happy end as things are going now.
Dig inside the wounds stitch myself inside and fester in
the agony. I'm reaching out while trying to touch
my pain, the cause of all my woes.
Reject all positivism and feed ont he insults, fueling my
anger. Extremely flammable, ready to explode.
Look inside yourself and find your ugly side...
You look so seamless now while spasms control
your body.
Stick the needles in my, stick the needles in.
released from all sorrows, freed from the mangling hurt
which terrorizes my soul.
Look in my eyes, see them beg to come bleed with me, come
suffocate with me.
Suffering cuz of the ignorance about you. Wondering how and
where you're wandering. Contemplating future scenarios for
your life, can't find an happy end as things are going now.
Dig inside the wounds stitch myself inside and fester in
the agony. I'm reaching out while trying to touch
my pain, the cause of all my woes.
Reject all positivism and feed ont he insults, fueling my
anger. Extremely flammable, ready to explode.
Look inside yourself and find your ugly side...
You look so seamless now while spasms control
your body.
Stick the needles in my, stick the needles in.
Recognition
Another boring trip by train. Everyday the same ride with
the same old faces through the same old landscape.
Yet 2day is different. I'm sitting alone on the bench while
the passengers flow into the wagon.
The she comes in, doesn't really look spectaculair but
somehow I have a feeling of déjà-vu. Can't put my finger
on it but she looks so familiar and cute at the same time.
As I watch her I notice that she's watching me 2. The feeling
of recognition becomes stronger and slowly the pieces
of the past return in the right order.
I come to find the link which made our paths cross before but
it's in a distant past. When she was just a girl and I was
just some boy. Long years of pain, happiness and anger have past
since then and both we've changed a lot but still we're the
same.
Stare in her eyes as she stares back but afraid to say anything.
Turn down my eyes cuz all it was was something beautiful.
Stunned by my thoughts an uncertain look goes to her as she does exact the same.
The train slows down and I know I have to leave but my soul
tells me to go with her. Torn between emotions and rational
thoughts once more.
Get off the train and think of her as she sees me watching her
as the train leaves with her out of my life. Breaking up our
paths again......
the same old faces through the same old landscape.
Yet 2day is different. I'm sitting alone on the bench while
the passengers flow into the wagon.
The she comes in, doesn't really look spectaculair but
somehow I have a feeling of déjà-vu. Can't put my finger
on it but she looks so familiar and cute at the same time.
As I watch her I notice that she's watching me 2. The feeling
of recognition becomes stronger and slowly the pieces
of the past return in the right order.
I come to find the link which made our paths cross before but
it's in a distant past. When she was just a girl and I was
just some boy. Long years of pain, happiness and anger have past
since then and both we've changed a lot but still we're the
same.
Stare in her eyes as she stares back but afraid to say anything.
Turn down my eyes cuz all it was was something beautiful.
Stunned by my thoughts an uncertain look goes to her as she does exact the same.
The train slows down and I know I have to leave but my soul
tells me to go with her. Torn between emotions and rational
thoughts once more.
Get off the train and think of her as she sees me watching her
as the train leaves with her out of my life. Breaking up our
paths again......
Out of reach
Only twice, had I had the opportunity to see you.
Two encounters with a girl with charisma as
powerfull as nothing I've ever felt.
Set aside all prejudices of other people still she rises
above them.
Something in her look gave me a deep sense of love.
The feeling never could be mutual and still I gazed
at her beauty while she looked in my eyes.
Making myself believe that she's loving me ass well, just
to feel happy while I'm around her. Alone with her
in that room or listening while she explains something
while surrounded by attentive students. The smile
on her face as I speak to her and the sound of her laugh
makes my feelings grow profounder.
But that was the past, two times I saw you. Always out
of reach even though I wished you could be mine.
Dedicated to Hannelore Vanderbeken
Two encounters with a girl with charisma as
powerfull as nothing I've ever felt.
Set aside all prejudices of other people still she rises
above them.
Something in her look gave me a deep sense of love.
The feeling never could be mutual and still I gazed
at her beauty while she looked in my eyes.
Making myself believe that she's loving me ass well, just
to feel happy while I'm around her. Alone with her
in that room or listening while she explains something
while surrounded by attentive students. The smile
on her face as I speak to her and the sound of her laugh
makes my feelings grow profounder.
But that was the past, two times I saw you. Always out
of reach even though I wished you could be mine.
Dedicated to Hannelore Vanderbeken
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