Too Much Pressure

I'm left without a sense of confidence.
Stained by the lingering remains of her presence.
I'm convinced that this is just too much pressure to take.
Knowing what I could expect.
I threw myself before her.
At first she never disappoints.
Lifted me up to where I needed to be.
Imagined it all in my mind,
ever single detail played in my head.
The beauty of the dream faded,
as did the comfort which I felt.
Leaving me all weary,
a menace to myself.
I lost it all, like I had so many times before.
Kept it to myself,
took it to my core.