No matter how bad I feel,
I am the one who fucked myself up.
I am the one who betrayed everything I loved.
My youthful ignorance led me to believe
that I would be better off by myself.
That there was not much left for me
but the bitter taste of loss.
Yet I reaped what I had sown.
I lacked the faith in the one person I had loved.
Hard was the year I had lived through.
Loneliness and doubt were all I experienced.
If I could only have seen her point of view.
If I only believed what she actually felt.
But I failed her miserably,
losing everything I ever wanted in this world.
No more love,
no more solace for my tainted soul.
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