Suffer

I cried myself into sleep last night. An unstable
sleep moved by the pain received from you.
Tortured by nightmares, awaking every hour.
Bathing in my own sweat, staring at the ceiling.
Even though everything is grey I keep on staring. Don't
want to close my eyes cuz I'm afraid of the pain.
Wish you were here to soothe the pain. To take me in your
arms and gently touch my face.
This fucked up face that lies on the pillow terrorised by
the pain inside. Understanding why this happened but not
happy with it. Counting the seconds since you left me.
Thinking about you, wondering if you are asleep or worrying
about this pain you caused me.
The guilt building up in you, scratching away the edges of your
rest. Feeling guilty for what you've done to me.
Saying you're sorry, over and over again. Hoping you'll
be excused. Forgiven by my soul.
I never blamed you for your mistake. That's why
I suffer while I wonder what I did wrong.