Unknown

Back in the days, still so young and unsoiled.
Too pure and innocent and so very
unknown.
Feeling the need for humain contact, a whisper,
a silent touch.
Searching for love while finding
nothing
but solitude.
A shadow in the mass, so very uncool
and trite. Lonely watching at the others
lifes. Looking and learning this untold truth.
So good, so boring, another nobody standing
alone in the middle of the crowd.

1st kiss

Memories and past feelings seeping back
in my mind. Brought back by
a scent long forgotten. The scent of her
lips on mine, leaving a subtle trace.
Years have past and bonds have weakened.
Still the memories lie deep within waiting
to be recollected.
Way back when it seemed I'd never forget it.
Bleeding on the past events, swearing to hold
on to...
Holding on to nothing, empty promises and strong
feelings all in vain.
Thinking on how it was, how it felt. To kiss for
the very first time...

Who 2 be?

Who can I be?
How can I be?
Trying to be everything you want me to.
Contradicting myself, feeling confused. Deprived
from your touch, not knowing who to be.
Changing my mind to fit the mold, trying to
satisfy, not trying to fold.
Feeling so weak and powerless, unable to hide
my emotions.
They're crawling out, like a snake from
underneath a rock. Venomous to myself and
my confidence in me.
Coming clean with you and my own.
Reassuring my life with your understanding.

Surfacing signs

This ill feeling creeps on my gut.
Feels like something's wrong and it takes on
my body to show.
To surface in an emotional state of the mind.
What if I don't want to know, don't want to know
what's going on in your head.
Afraid of what might be inside, the uncertainty
which resides in you.
Little signs that uncover that doubt. An doubt
concerning our future.
Hope that I'm mistaking, that the paranoia
finally got me.
That there's nothing to fear and nothing and
everything to lose.
Doubtless carrying on to our bright future,
Wherein giving you all you need.

Contained fear

Fearfully sitting on the edge of the bridge.
Lone like a bottle inthe sand, with a silent
message inside.
Like the past, unable to control this immobile reality.
Don't want to live in a vicious circle, repeating
my past life again.
Anxiety spreading like the sea over the sand.
Afraid that it might happen again. Another situation
but the same pain like a mindnumbing drug,
tearing on my feelings.
How can I ever doubt my feelings for you?
How can I interpret your signs as often you don't
know yourself?
I must contain my fear, myself. Just
realized I can never win...

Just breathin'

Lonesome studying this irrelevant matter.
Concentrating on the dull theories posed long ago
by a person long deceased.
How can I work when I mentally dwell far
away from my desk.
Missing something, someone,
you.
When you're away, how can I live?
When I'm without you, I'm not living
but merely breathing.
Breathing to survive and waiting for the moment.
The moment when we can rejoin eachother, in
a warm embrace.
All I want to say is that I belong with you...

Sole purpose

It's tough livin' in this situation.
Constantly balancing on one foot,
on a thin line between homes.
Weighing my acts and deeds and thinking
3 steps ahead.
Yet it's easy to slip and become blamed. Getting
discredit when just living my life.
Laughed at my principals, feeling shamefull
for what I am.
Too lazy, not helpfull, a failure or whatever.
Gotta watch my step.
Trying to stop the fighting over and over again
But it seems so useless.
Threats and insults flying by, no way to stop the
words.
Pointless quarreling with sole purpose of
hurting. We can't take it anymore.